(An incredible fusion of ‘easy listening music’ and sound financial advice)
(EGO Venit , EGO censeo locus , EGO mortuus in promeritum!)
(I came, I evaluated the situation and left IN CREDIT!)
THE RANDY SWINDLERS’
Brought to you by ‘Swindler international’ PLC
A subsidiary of ‘Swindler Associates’.
Our company says- ‘Borrow your way out of this recession, if it’s good enough for governments- it’s good enough for you. ‘
Believe me- If you have money worries!, (and don’t we all!) let one of our skilled advisors guide you through the next stage of your borrowing experience!
Generous terms on application.
See ‘Lip’ after the show! -Let him take down---- your particulars!
Welcome, and Congratulatuions on your decision today. You have made the 1st important step in changing the course of your life! –YES! Prepare to be ‘SWINDLED’ !
During the show our skilled advisors (noticeable by the dark sunglasses they all wear) will move amongst you and take note of your financial needs/assets etc. Please furnish them with the usual details. (Name, address, bank account details, pin numbers, mothers maiden names etc.)
NORMAN NUTCRUSHER(Double bass)
Norm- Just back from an extended stretch (holiday) on the Isle of White and Dartmoor, strangely- untanned!
A ‘gentleman’ in every sense of the word. Occupations include- Security, Debt collection and the recycling of precious metals. Purveyor of fine jewellery, watches and second hand cars!
Hobbies include- Pugilism, Gut barging and Morris Dancing..
(Downside) Very competitive. Hates not being the Leader of the Band.
‘Lip’has just completed 2 Open University courses . The Art of Public Speaking! and The Valuation of Antiques ! He is available for after dinner speaking. (Oh, what a laugh ‘Lip’ can be!)
Hobbies include Stamp collecting, Free rodent extermination for the over 80’s, and ‘Clear thinking’.
He is in fact-a Philanthropical, philosophical philatelist ! (A philanderer too!, but we don’t talk about that)
He relaxes by sewing 3 fingered gloves. (He used to send these to people who had upset him in the ‘Bad Old Days’!)
Once a thoroughly disreputable character, but now a completely reformed and a prospective MP for Weston Super mare!
(One or all of these characters may accompany the band on their various engagements.)
'Tricky Dicky' Celebrated Card Sharp! Also- Bon Viveur and Ladies Man. Well known for being able to ‘serenade’ his way into the boudoirs of rich and famous ladies. Recently released from gaol after the unfortunate incident with Lady Ambrosia!
‘Surgeon’. Guitar and Ukelele. Extremely usefull medical practitioner.
‘Lionel Blair Hutz the 3rd’ Saxophone. Randy’s Lawyer
Milo Mesmero. Guitar. Memory Artiste and male stripper.
Charlie Snuffles’ Harmonica. The party-goers friend. Nickname ‘The Real Deal’ Also known as ‘Charlie No Nose’.
Yes, not only sound financial advice but also the chance to WIN A FORTUNE with the Randy Swindler ACCUMULATOR COMPETITION. (The chance to win a betting slip potentially worth THOUSANDS OF POUNDS!)
But listen! Don’t take my word for it, for a thoroughly entertaining evening, come on down and sample a night with-
THE RANDY SWINDLERS!
Check our gig list. Available on this very site.
Remember- Your 'Safe' , in our hands!